How to say goodbye

Remembering our friend René Sollberger

In 2013 we moved into a beautiful loft in the heart of Boston, where Phil met our new neighbors as they were moving in. Pilar and her husband, René, quickly became dear friends, sharing holidays and dinners during our time in the Boston area and staying in touch through several moves, meetups in various cities, and plenty of emails and Facebook posts. 

René and Pilar in their loft, next door to us

René took this picture of a Thanksgiving together at our beach home in Plymouth, MA, with my high school bestie Patricia.

When we moved to France, René and Pilar were among our first house guests, where they fell in love with Montpellier and the south of France.

Enjoying cocktails at our favorite hangout, SmashBar (now closed, unfortunately)

We had only a few days together, but we packed in plenty of fun, walking our legs off, playing pétanque, and enjoying pleasant May weather. And food. We have shared so many wonderful meals together–including a memorable evening when René made authentic Swiss fondue for us, served on special plates that had been in his family for years.

Dinner in the garden of our first Montpellier apartment

René and Pilar were both journalists, and when we met in Boston René was hard at work on a book about Swiss diplomat Jakob Kellenberger. A man of many talents and interests, in addition to being a journalist and author, René also was a travel professional. It cracked me up that as a Swiss person, he led tours of the American Southwest–for Americans! You can learn more about René on his website. 

One of the delightful holiday cards René and Pilar sent each year–this one features their dog, Jet.

René and Pilar eventually left America for northwest Switzerland, where they bought and customized a gorgeous new apartment which would be their dream home. We planned to visit them as soon as they were fully settled. Tragically, on May 9, only six weeks after moving in, René succumbed to a massive cardiac event that ended his life at only 66 years of age. He died in his sleep, leaving a heartbroken widow and hundreds of bereaved family and friends, including Phil and me.

The beautiful invitation to the party to celebrate René’s life

Pilar is a remarkable woman: she was embedded with the military in Iraq, she is an accomplished pilot and flight instructor, professional speaker, journalist, world traveler, and much more. And astonishingly, in the depths of grief, she created a party to celebrate René’s life. Not a funeral, which he would have hated, but a true celebration, at a beautiful, rustic horse trekking ranch in the Jura mountains of Switzerland–for 60 people! 

Because we had never visited Switzerland (and because we are, after all, Roamers), Phil and I decided to make a short vacation of our trip. We drove to Annecy, which is a gorgeous alpine town nestled beside a lake. We spent two nights there, enjoying the scenery, the fresh air (so nice after the heat and humidity at home), and the delicious cuisine.

A lake and chateau view during our drive around Lake Annecy

Our friends Dave and Sue had recently visited Annecy and highly recommended “the best, most authentic Mexican food we’ve found in France” at La Taqueria by Los Primos. Of course we had to go, and it did not disappoint. One of the things we most miss from our U.S. life is Mexican food, so this was truly a treat.

Happy Mexican food Phil

Annecy has been described as the Venice of France, with good reason. We loved walking along the canals, people-watching, and finding special culinary treats from the area.

I took this photo while strolling along the canal.

On our second evening in Annecy we had dinner at the Paul Bocuse restaurant honoring his mother, who was a native of Annecy. We had dined at the original Michelin-starred Bocuse in Lyon and were eager to try Brasserie Irma. We dined on the spacious terrace, and I may or may not have slipped a bit of my fish to the  resident cat.

Brasserie Irma

We left very early the next morning to get to Zurich in time for a lovely lunch at the home of my high school friend and Wild Woman Susan and her Swiss husband Kurt. Our visit to their beautiful apartment was short but very sweet, and they made a fabulous luncheon feast. We hope to return for a longer visit.

And then it was time to drive to the Miramont Horse Trekking Hostel, the site of René’s celebration. Pilar, who lives in the next town, had partnered with David, a former commercial pilot and now the Miramont proprietor, to plan a uniquely beautiful event. We had a tearful reunion with Pilar, who got us into our charming room, before joining the al fresco apéro, where we met guests from all over Europe. We re-met René’s cousins, with whom we’d enjoyed lunch in Austin (where René and Pilar had to translate the entire conversation because his cousins had no English and we had no useable French or German), and all four of us were delighted to be able this time to have some rudimentary French conversations.

After the lovely apéro, which featured some of the best appetizers I’ve had at an event, everyone headed upstairs to the event room. Pilar welcomed everyone in German, the predominant language of the group, and she had thoughtfully printed out an English translation of her comments for the non-German speakers. Pilar was eloquent and graceful a she welcomed her guests, accompanied by slides of René over the years, and spoke of her love. No dry eyes. Then it was time for the delicious buffet dinner, followed by a speech by René’s childhood friend. 

When the time came for Pilar to give her speech, complete with slides of the couple’s wedding, travels, and life together, we were amazed by her composure. Yes, there were tears, but she made it through, ending with “I will always be your Sweetie.” Remembering her speech brings tears but also joy.

Pilar sharing her memories of René

And then she directed us to open the gifts on the tables, one for each person or couple. Pilar had framed a photo of each of us with René, to keep as a remembrance. Ours was taken in our garden in Montpellier during their 2022 visit. At this point there was not a dry eye in the house, but it was time for the band to play. We all danced to wonderful music, with René’s cousin the lead singer. 

Celebration of Life

(Thanks to Wendy Lubetkin for the video!)

It was a bittersweet, wonderful evening that we will always remember. We miss René and are grateful to have the memories of this very special friend.

The next day, at our new friend Wendy’s recommendation, we ventured into the charming medieval town of Estavayer-le-Lac, where frog images abound. Our destination was bizarre: a museum featuring taxidermy frogs in various settings. Creepy, but very interesting!

Frog fète

That evening we, along with another couple, were guests for dinner at Pilar’s beautiful apartment. It was a lovely evening, with wonderful food and more stories of René. We are hoping that Pilar and her dog Jet will visit us in Montpellier soon, but for now it was time to say goodbye.

The next morning we drove to Lausanne for a quick lunch with friends Leslie and Arnaud, who were fresh off a redeye flight and train ride; we were honored that they delayed a much-needed rest to lunch with us. Leslie has a wonderful website and blog that I highly recommend. 

Then it was off to Geneva for our last night in Switzerland. We stayed at a Marriott which turned out to have an excellent restaurant and bar.

My dessert: beautiful AND delicious!

And the next day we returned home. It was a bittersweet, wonderful trip, and we were honored to be part of the party for René. And we will treasure his photo, which rests on my desk next to the coaster René and Pilar gave us several years ago.

We will never forget our friend René.